Do As Much As You Can To Improve

First, I looked at myself. I asked, “If I were the type of woman who I would like to attract (I like super hot, very intelligent women), what would make me want to be

with a man?”

So I started reading, listening to tapes, going to seminars… you name it. And I started to work on my ‘presentation’ of myself.

I now think that it’s important to get EVERY POSSIBLE thing going for you that you can.

Here’s my take: If you have messed up teeth, for instance, that still shouldn’t prevent you from dressing well. So don’t let it.

Get a cool hair style. (It’s OK to ask a stylist what’s cool and get help on this one.)

Buy nice clothes (Don’t tell me that you don’t have the $$$. Get on eBay, or go to the Nordstrom Rack and look at the clearance items. I did it to start.). If you will do just a few key things, they won’t necessarily HELP you attract women, but they’ll get rid of things that are PREVENTING you from attracting women that you DON’T EVEN REALIZE.

Make no mistake that if you’re interested in ATTRACTIVE women, you’d better realize right now that these things make a difference. You don’t have to work out ten times a week, but get your body in at least OK shape. You don’t have to have perfect teeth, but make sure that they’re clean and your breath is great. My personal view: If you’re overweight, poorly groomed, etc., these are all things that are within your control. You should get them handled for YOURSELF. If you don’t, then I’m going to assume that you don’t have very much self-respect, in which case almost NOTHING I tell you can help.

Women notice details that most men don’t. They notice if your belt and shoes match. They notice what kinds of foods you like to eat. They notice all the details and then make assumptions about every other area of your life based on these details.

So learn what nice shoes are and how to keep them nice. Figure out how colors and clothing go together and what is cool. It’s worth it.

I wasn’t ‘cool’ when I started, but now I’ve learned how to become more so. Huge difference. (Am I saying that you can’t attract women if you wear Nike’s and have

messed up hair? No. But remember the old saying: “A blind pig can find an occasional truffle…”)

Of course, don’t overdo it.

I’ve tried the whole dressing well bit in the past to the point of looking like I’m trying too hard. Now I dress more ‘casual nice’. I wear a lot of Calvin Klein T-Shirts with black jeans and nice black shoes, etc. This look with a nice leather coat works well in almost any situation. This is a look that you can put together for a couple or few hundred bucks (for several sets).

Here’s my mindset: Keep improving all the time, even if it’s the SMALLEST DETAIL.

I noticed recently that at least once every time I go out, a girl will ask me for a light. I always just said, “I don’t smoke” or “No”. A couple weeks ago, I said “Ah-Ha” and went to the lighter store SPECIFICALLY to find the coolest lighter that anyone has ever invented. I bought this torch lighter that make a huge flame. It looks like a welding flame. So what do you think happened the first time I went out with it? Right… got asked for a light… and got a ‘wow’ reaction from her, which started a conversation.

A list of random things to improve:

Remember, women notice the details and assume you handle everything else the same way.

The Underlying Motives

I think that it’s important to look at the differences between men and women from an objective perspective.

Remember that just about every thought and behaviour that a woman has, no matter how little sense it may make to you, has some positive intention behind it. Drama is often to get attention. Jealousy is often a way of protecting a relationship. Games are often used to make sure that a man is serious and willing to invest energy.

So as you work to become more successful with women, remember not to take things personally. Don’t get discouraged if you encounter games, drama, and things that you don’t understand. It’s all part of the game.

I believe that underneath it all, men are usually trying to find women who will give them sex, and women are usually trying to find men who will give them loyalty and commitment. This has evolved over many millions of years, and these goals contain an obvious conflict of interest.

So just realize this conflict exists, and as you learn, remember to take it into consideration. And, of course, don’t take any of it personally. Men have been dealing with all of these same issues for a long, long time.

How To Get The First Meeting

First of all, I’m going to explain my mindset: I have decided that I need about 20-30 minutes to get to know a woman before I decide to invest in getting to ‘really’ know her.

I actually like women for their company, and who I’d enjoy seeing for more than just one ‘get laid’ session.

So I like to meet a woman for a cup of tea and talk for a bit, or even let that lead to a bite to eat sometimes. So my mindset is that I’M THERE TO QUALIFY THEM. Not the other way around. They pick up on this mentality and

respond accordingly.

Why Women Are Attracted To Things Like Fame, Money, And Power

In my opinion, women are attracted to things like fame, money, and power because they are genetically and socially programmed on an unconscious level to believe that these men are more intelligent, more fun, more interesting, more able to give them the lifestyle – and MOST IMPORTANTLY – more able to give them the Influence, Robert

FEELINGS that they want. In his book Cialdini talks about a psychological principle called the ‘Halo Effect’. In a nutshell, humans naturally assume that attractive and powerful people are smarter and more trustworthy than average people.

A woman desires a man who fits into her self-image fantasies that have been forming since she was very young. And thanks to Disney these fantasies were imbedded even further than her genetic wiring ever intended.

Overall, the answer is to realize that rich, powerful, famous guys have the advantage at the beginning from their FAMILIARITY and ASSUMED, PROJECTED positive traits. But if you can learn to get a woman’s attention and then give her the FEELINGS that she’s always wanted, she’ll treat you like you’re famous, rich, and powerful as

well.

A tall, handsome man, or a famous rich man ‘pushes a button’ and triggers certain feelings inside of a woman. If you’re not rich, famous, tall and/or super attractive, you have to learn to ‘install the button’ so that when they see you, they automatically have those feelings. The good news is that you can do this with most women, whereas you cannot with most men.

While women are interested in looks to some degree, they are MORE interested in how you make them feel. Even if you don’t understand this concept, you have to believe and start acting as if it’s true. You must behave as if you confidently believe that you are the best thing for a woman and that you are going to make her feel wonderful.

Women can pick up this particular belief, and they respond to it.

Ask yourself:

Then start doing these things. When you’re talking to a woman, imagine how good you’re going to make her feel. Fake it till you make it. Just do it. Women will notice.

Be Different In An Attractive Way

By studying marketing and sales, I’ve learned that humans are attracted to things that are unique. They are also attracted to things that are superior. So I have a phrase that I use: “Different in a preferential way.” In the mating game, it pays to be different in an ATTRACTIVE way.

What I’m about to share with you is a group of ingredients. These are the different ingredients to which women are attracted. It’s up to you to take what you have and to use this list to augment your personality in such a way that it becomes attractive to the type of women with whom you’re interested. The key is to be different in an attractive way.

But make sure that you’re not too different! If you get too carried away with this idea, you’ll be outside of the realm of ‘normal’ and you will wind up hurting yourself. So experiment and test to see what works for you.

Find Others

MOST IMPORTANTLY I found and started to hang around guys who WERE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN. This was the biggie. I owe much of my success to the guys who showed me in the real world what they did. It wasn’t the books and the people selling tapes and seminars. It was the guys who were successful in the real world. What I do now resembles nothing that I’ve really read in a book or learned from an author.

So the BEST advice I can give you is to find about 5 guys in your area that know what they’re doing and say, “Hey, I really want to get this part of my life handled…can I take you to dinner (no kissing) and pick your brain man?” Be humble and cool, and you’ll make some friends. Like I said, find about 5 different guys so you can get different perspectives and see how it all fits together.

By the way, go read Chapter 10 in “Think and Grow Rich” about the ‘Master Mind’ group. IF YOU DO NOTHING ELSE, DO THIS ONE THING. IT WILL MAKE THE DIFFERENCE.

Learn A Few Cold Reading Methods

Women love things like Astrology, Tarot Cards, Palmistry, Handwriting Analysis, Psychics, and anything else you can think of that most men aren’t interested in.

Here’s what to do:

Go get the books “Handwriting Analysis” by Karen Amend, “Palm Reading: A Little Guide To Life’s Secrets” by Dennis Fairchild. and “An Introduction to Hand Reflexology” by Denise Brown. You can order all of them at Amazon.com.

Then sit down for an evening and read them. Learn some basics about how to tell people what they’re like from studying handwriting samples, looking at their palms, feeling tension in their bodies, etc.

This stuff is ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING to women.

All you have to do is take a woman’s hand, look at it, and say, “Well, you’re a very interesting person.”

That’s it... it’s almost like magic.

After revealing to her all of her secret desires, you can move directly into your hand massage and Reflexology methods. I’m hoping that the benefits of these techniques speak for themselves.

By the way, it doesn’t hurt to know a few advanced or unusual massage moves either. So you might want to check out a couple of books on massage while you’re at it.

The First Shift In Thinking

So let’s start off with this shift in thinking: Think about what the woman who you’re interested in needs and wants and don’t assume that these are the same things that YOU need and want.

And don’t assume that what women want is going to make any sense at all to you, because it probably won’t. This shift in thinking was a big one for me personally to understand. Almost none of what I do to be successful with women makes any sense to me logically, because I’m not a woman. But now that I see that what I do works over and over again, I realize that it doesn’t matter what makes sense.

All that matters is WHAT WORKS.

Let’s get a little deeper into the female heart and mind. Females select males most of the time in nature... and in modern human courtship. And even if the man selects the woman, many if not most women still harbour the secret fantasy that they’re ‘letting him do it’, etc.

Sooooooo.... It’s good to address this issue and point out when talking to women (even if you hint at it and talk about past experiences to make the point) that you are

This kind of thing is the selector and not the selectee. very powerful, as it does one of my favourite things: It points out something to the woman that she’s most likely NEVER HEARD FROM A MAN IN HER ENTIFE LIFE. I specialize in saying things that women have never heard. I also like to say things that she’s never heard that MAKE ME DIFFERENT IN A DESIRABLE WAY.

I even say to women, “I’m about to tell you something (or something about you) that no one has ever told you...” This really gets a woman on the edge of her seat and puts her into an instant state of attention (when done in a context that makes sense). And if the thing you tell them is profound enough, they’ll begin to see you as a sort of super psychic powerhouse (women are fascinated by these kinds of insights).

My personal view is that if you help people to have profound realizations, they’ll see you as a guru rather than seeing the information or themselves as powerful. It doesn’t matter from where the info came, as long as it’s something that the person has never really thought about in that way (that’s also profound to her).

One good example is to say to a hot woman who’s acting arrogant, “You don’t have me fooled for a minute, dear.”

When she says, “What are you talking about?”, you say, “Well, I know that most men fall for this ‘I’m beautiful and aloof and I get my way’ part of your personality... but I know something that none of them know... that there’s really another side of you. A side that none of THEM get to see. I’ll bet you a dollar right now that I know something about you that no one who’s only known you for 5 minutes has EVER known... <pause, pause, pause>... You may act tough, but you’re actually EXTREMELY sensitive on the inside. If someone makes a negative comment to you, you might act like it doesn’t bother you... but you’ll think about it all the way home... I know that secretly you’re as sensitive as a little girl... it’s just that most people never get to meet that part of you...”

This messes up a cold woman soooo hard that you have to be ready for instant personality meltdown and a completely different person to come out of her.

At this point, it’s often easy to start talking about the whole pick-up scene and how women play men, etc. to let her know that you’re an insider and not falling for her game. If you drop two or three more profound comments during this time, you’ll have a woman who won’t leave you alone (but keep acting like you want to be left alone so she’ll stay after you!). Nice.

Where Our Desires Come From

After spending the last ten years or so studying psychology and behaviour, I’ve come to the opinion that MOST of our desires, drives, preferences, strengths, weaknesses, behaviours, and personality traits are determined by our DNA and some by our social

conditioning. I’m talking about both men and women here.

Even differences like whether a person prefers adventure or couch riding are largely a matter of programming from birth (If you really disagree with me on this one, read some books on the Myers-Briggs or try the book “Type Who Am I?” by Steven Reiss.)

In any event, HOWEVER they got to be interested in these common things, most women have a few main interests, needs, desires, or whatever you want to call them when it comes to men, relationships, and romance.

Have you ever read the personals? Have you ever noticed how many women say things like “princess looking for prince”, “friends first”, and “looking for my soul mate”?

Have you ever noticed how almost NO men ever say these things?

What’s going on?

Have you ever listened to a group of women talking about men?

Ever notice how they speak largely in some kind of code language and constantly make a big deal out of tiny details that seem totally irrelevant?

Have you ever noticed, on the other hand, how men are direct with each other and have no interest in bickering over small things?

What’s going on?

Have you ever noticed how many women are attracted to drama?

Here’s my take on this whole subject: Women are playing out a role that hasn’t changed for thousands (or millions?) of years. These days the language and clothing are different. But it’s the same that it’s always been.

There are many parts of human brains that create drives and desires for different things. Often, these drives conflict with each other.

For instance, a woman might want a strong man in her life, but she might also want a feeling of independence. She might want to have attention, but she might also want to be seen as above needing it. (Men have these types of conflicts as well, but in different areas.)

So, for example, I hear a lot of men saying things like, “I hate all the drama that women create. Why do they create this stuff?”

My answer: Drama accomplishes a lot of things at once. It gets attention, it sends emotions through the body (emotions are highly addictive chemicals), it’s a way

to be self-righteous, it’s often fun, it’s interesting and prevents boredom, it gives things meaning... and on and on. There are a lot of good reasons for drama. But most men can’t understand because drama fulfils needs that MOST MEN DON’T HAVE.

It’s like women saying, “I hate it when all a guy can talk about is sports.” What needs to sports fulfil for men? Competition, adrenaline, power, domination... all the typical guy stuff. Incidentally, stuff that fulfils needs that most women just plain don’t have.

It’s OK To Be A Man

After many years of studying, researching, and trying many different things, I’ve now realized that there is a conspiracy against men being successful with women.

It’s very real, and it’s very pervasive in our culture.

Let me explain.

Most men that I know have some kind of ‘feeling’ that it’s wrong in some way to sleep with more than one woman at a time. (I’m not even referring to a Ménage à Trois, either. I’m talking about plain old run-of-the-mill dating a couple of women at a time here.)

But most women that I know have more than just a ‘feeling’ about this idea. Most women are outspoken and very forward about the idea that it’s WRONG for most men to date and sleep with more than one woman.

You can see it in their faces and hear it in their voices when they talk about this topic.

If you know what I’m talking about, give me a silent nod here.

What I’ve discovered by doing my homework is that the moral idea of monogamy (having only one partner at a time) has been formalized, passed down, and force-fed to us culturally by rulers, religions, and women for thousands of years.

I don’t mean to get too far out here, but I feel that understanding from where these beliefs came and how they are promoted will liberate many readers.

Onward.

Anywhere from hundreds to thousands of years ago, rulers of lands kept large harems of women. These harems were guarded carefully to prevent any males except the rulers from having access to these women. The penalty for sleeping with one of the ruler’s women could be, in an extreme case, your own death and the deaths of everyone in your family and village. (Back then there were bigger risks involved!)

These rulers kept so many women not just for the sexual variety that it provided them, but also for the reproductive power that it gave them. These rulers often had detailed records kept so they could copulate with only the most fertile women and maximize the woman’s chances of pregnancy and passing on their own genes.

So what do you think these rulers did to protect their harems?

Right! They passed laws (from which they were exempt) to promote monogamy.

In these times there was a great shortage of women, so these laws would discourage married men (those lucky enough to find a woman) from seeking sex outside of their marriage and therefore further protect the ruler’s harem.

Next, we have the church.

Many religions prohibit sex, make sex ‘wrong’, give it some name with a negative connotation like ‘fornication’, or in one way or another discourage it.

I once heard a wise man say, “Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and procreate and makes it wrong.” Why? Well, if you’re

busy fighting your internal drives, and you see God as the only way to cleanse yourself of these ‘bad’ thoughts, then you are a much better SHEEP.

If you want to get people to follow you, first confuse them, then convince them that you know the way to get them out of their confused state. Easy.

Finally, we have women. This is the interesting one.

If you look at it from an ‘economic’ standpoint, it doesn’t benefit women at all to have their man running around having sex with other women. She can only be pregnant with one child at a time, and she can only raise a limited number at a time. So having a man who’s out spreading his seed is BAD BAD BAD for business for her.

When you’re out spreading seed, you can’t be working or at home helping. Even worse, you might have other kids with other women who will further divide your attention and income. (By the way, I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with women’s perspectives. I’m just saying that if you look at it from their point of view, there’s not a lot of benefit to having a man who likes to sleep with a lot of women.)

So anything that promotes monogamy like religion is seen as ‘right’ to many women, as it goes along with what they think and feel.

Now let’s talk about men.

My research leads me to believe that men are ‘naturally’ inclined to have one main woman to whom they are devoted, but that they like to sleep with other

women as the opportunity arises. You can believe what you want, but do yourself a favour and read Matt Ridley’s book, The Red Queen, before you start speculating.

Think about it. There are major advantages to men (or at least to their genes) to sleep with many women.

First, it doesn’t take a lot of energy, and there’s not very much risk involved. (I realize that there is risk of disease, etc., but for the moment think about the fact that a man could probably father dozens of children before a disease would take him out, making the tradeoff, genetically speaking, a no-brainer.)

I personally believe that men are hard-wired to look for sexual opportunities and seek out sexual variety. (Let me also add that just because you’re hard-wired to like sweet foods doesn’t mean that you should only eat sweet foods. This will lead you to sickness and eventually to disease and death.)

With this in mind, I’d like you to ask yourself:

What are my beliefs about monogamy?

Where did they come from?

Do I like my beliefs?

Do my beliefs conflict with my inner drives?

Would I like to change what I believe based on this new information?

In any event, from now forward, don’t let anyone or anything make you feel bad because of your NATURAL desires and attraction to women. (I’m of course talking about reasonable desires and attractions. If you like to think about hurting women, underage women, etc., then do yourself a favor and get some help.)

But if you’re like me and you were given a set of ideas about women that you are now realizing to be less than useful, then move on and start thinking about the

subject differently.

My perspective is that sleeping with different women breaks no ‘law of the universe’, and it’s not an ethical dilemma for me. Any objections that are in existence were created mostly to control and not to liberate. My perspective is also that it’s important to be honest with people about your views. And yes, this means talking to women about them. In my life, I’ve mostly had long-term girlfriends. And if I tell a woman that I’m going to be faithful, then I am.

But if I’m single, then I see nothing wrong with dating as many women as I want. (Keep in mind that there are some crazy viruses, diseases, and other scary bugs that want to jump on your wiener. So use good judgment.)

I’ve found that if you explain this topic like I just have to a woman, you’ll often show her a perspective that she’s never even considered. My experience is that women actually LOVE to hear a man talking this way. It’s refreshing to women to hear a man being open about this controversial topic rather than hiding his ideas. It’s important to remember what I said above: “It’s OK To Be A Man.”

If you are who you are and make no apologies for yourself, you will be taken seriously. But if you approach the topic cautiously and act like you’re trying to see if she’s OK with your views, you’ll be seen as weak and insecure.

I’ve found that most women will accept you as you are. But if you try to act like someone that you’re not and you’re found out, you will be treated with disrespect and ex-communicated.

My Story

I made the decision a few years ago that I needed to get the area of my life ‘handled’ called ‘dealing with women’. So I made a decision and a commitment to myself and my best friend that I would do whatever it took to learn and ‘figure this out’. (Read Chapter 1 from “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill for more on this

mindset.)

Some background: The girlfriends that I had in the past were mostly from luck now that I reflect on it. They were there, and I felt lucky to have them as my girlfriend at the time.

But I never knew how to approach women I didn’t know, and I could sit in a bar for three hours making eye contact with a woman and never have the nerve to go talk to her. Right now I’m just turning 30, and I’m about 5’10” and 160 pounds. I think I’m reasonably good looking, but I’ve never been the kind of guy that women just walk up and approach. (I say this to give you a frame of reference in relationship to the comments I make relating to looks, etc.) I’ve made myself more attractive by paying attention, learning, and using what works.

When I made the decision to get this part of my life handled, I decided that instead of trying to start with an angle (working at a strip club, becoming famous for something, etc.) that I would like to learn in a way that gave me power to act with just my personality and presentation.  In other words, I wanted to make this part of who I was rather than a ‘trick’.

I have a rule of thumb in life that I use… it takes about 2-4 years just to get ‘good’ at something. And I mean JUST TO GET GOOD. Think martial arts, playing an Mastery by instrument…anything. (Read Chapter 1 of Leonard for more wisdom on this topic.)

Sure, you can have some success and fun while learning, but experience has shown me that to really ‘get’ something and to be able to use it in many contexts successfully, you need to apply yourself for 2-4 years.

THEN, I think it takes another 2-4 years to become a ‘master’ of whatever you’re doing.

At the 10+ year level is usually where the Genius level really kicks in…

My point here is to say that I’ve been applying myself for a few years now, and I am now at the point where I feel confident and in control around women. I encourage you to make this a long-term commitment rather than just trying to get an instant cure. It will be worth it in the long run.

If you’re just plain lazy and want a shortcut, go ahead and try all of them. But you’ll most likely find, like most others do, that massive success with this material takes

practice, effort, and a commitment.

Internal States

Finally, I’m going to address the idea of your ‘states’. By ‘state’ I mean the feeling that you have in your body.

Can you remember a time when you felt happy and excited?

Can you remember a time when you felt powerful and energetic?

If you can, then you can HAVE THESE FEELINGS ANY TIME YOU WANT THEM. Most people don’t use their memories to help them feel good because they say, “Well, that’s not really how I’m feeling; I’m just imagining it.” Well, I have news for you: You’re ALWAYS just imagining it. You might as well imagine it at times when you need it instead of having it happen on accident!

Here’s how to apply this idea:

Write down three states that you’d like to be able to put yourself into anytime you’d like. Then, write down three times in your life when you felt each of those states. Finally, close your eyes and put yourself into each of the three situations that made you feel the state that you want. Also, do SOMETHING UNIQUE with your body as you’re remembering. For instance, if you’d like to feel powerful and confident, while you’re remembering times when you felt this way, breathe out quickly while

puckering your lips.

If you do this process of remembering the states and exhaling quickly at the same time, all you have to do in the future is close your eyes, breathe out quickly while remembering the feelings, and you’ll have the states that you want. It’s like having a ‘push’ button for feeling good about yourself.

Next, you have to practice putting yourself into your three powerful states when you’re in different environments. So go to different places and practice getting yourself into your states with distractions, etc. This might take some doing, but once you have it

mastered, you’ll be able to get yourself into a positive state when you’re not feeling it to begin with (Could this exercise be useful when you’re feeling shy or afraid to

meet someone? Maybe!)

I also started keeping a personal journal of everything that I was learning and doing, so I could reflect on it.

Where And How To Meet Women

I intuitively determined that there are certain major steps to ‘meeting women’, if you will. This is how my mind naturally thinks.

I’ve now broken these down in my mind to chunks like ‘Approaching Women’, ‘Getting Phone Numbers’, etc. which I’ll explain here and in future chapters.

I’d like to add here that different people have different personal views regarding meeting women, ‘getting laid’, relationships, etc.

I’m not going to try to convince you that my way is the best, but I’ll share some of my personal values with you. When I’m in a ‘relationship’ with a woman and we’ve agreed to be ‘exclusive’, then I’m faithful to that woman.

If I’m single, then I date whoever I want, whenever I want, and have no problems or hang ups with sex, seeing more than one woman at a time, etc. Some people see things differently, which is fine, but I wanted you to know where I was coming from on this issue.

By the way, the things that I’m sharing with you work whether you’re just meeting a woman or if you’ve known her for years... or even if you’ve been married forever.

And contrary to what many men think, women usually love it that you’ve taken the time to learn things like what I’m teaching you. It makes things more fun and interesting for them.

What Outcome Are You Looking For?

Most men that I talk to about this topic really can’t explain the EXACT outcome that they’re looking for.

So let me ask you...

Are you looking for a one night stand?

Are you looking for a girlfriend?

Are you looking for a wife?

Are you looking to get this part of my life called ‘confidence with women’ handled?

What is it that you’d like to do?

Once you choose an outcome for yourself, you can apply what you’re learning to that outcome. If you have no outcome, then you’re going to be like a ship in the ocean with no particular port as your destination. With no target, there is a very small chance that you’ll ever be successful.

Take a moment and write down your goal as it relates to women. Then think about that goal as you read the rest of this book.

The idea here is to give yourself a framework to work within and one to plan around. Failing to plan is planning to fail.

It’s A Game To Them

Women often view men picking up on them as a sort of game. They talk about it with each other, they have standard lines that they learn when you ask for their number such as, “Why don’t you give me YOUR number instead and I can call you...?” and so on.

I know that some, maybe even most women go out on weekends with the mindset of “I’m never going to meet Mr. Right at a club, but it boosts my ego to have men paying attention to me by the dozens, and I like to have free drinks... and I love to dance with my girlfriends and be a tease... and I love the power of shooting men down while pretending to be annoyed by it... etc.”

How To Meet Women

OK, now let’s talk about the nuts and bolts of how to meet women.

Guys are constantly trying to find new ‘angles’ and ‘lines’ so that it can ‘appear natural’ when they talk to a woman. I mean, hell... most women’s fantasy is to meet a guy in a charming place and have this whole unplanned romantic thing happen right out of a movie (irony: unplanned and right out of a movie).

I really think that instead of trying to mask a pick-up, just make it damn good. If you can just be in the ‘more interesting’ category, you’ll get her attention, which is a major step. Then you can lean into the cocky and funny routine and take it from there.

Don’t try to hide the fact that you’re picking a woman up — be great at it, then get into cocky and funny (and reframe as them picking you up! Ha).

Meeting Women At Dance Lessons

Another good place to meet tons of single women is at dance lessons. I know, I know…sounds kind of fruity. But dance classes are LOADED with single women who LOVE GUYS WHO CAN DANCE. Heck, they even love guys who want to LEARN to dance.

Here’s the breakdown:

Most rudimentary dance lessons are set up in the same format. You have limited dance time with numerous partners. This is perfect.

Here are a few ideas for being cocky/funny on the ballroom dance floor...

“Hi, I’ll be your host for the next three minutes. If you can dance well, have a nice personality, and don’t step on my feet more than forty-seven times, I’ll let you be my

friend.”

“OK, impress me.”

“I just want you to know, I don’t think any less of you just because you’re so bad at ballroom dancing that you need lessons.”...

just take out a piece of paper and spend 5 minutes on this one. You’ll be set for life.

The Dark Side Of Beauty

Underneath all of the beauty, most of these powerful women have a ‘shadow’ or dark side.

This dark side is secretly wanting a man who is in control of himself, his reality, and them.

But they’d never admit it – often not even to themselves.  But their unconscious knows and recognizes this desire as something that they want. They also hold a kind of inner CONTEMPT for the weak people (especially men) who give them everything they want, as is evidenced by the “Oh, he’s just a guy I use to buy me things and “He’s my ‘Boytoy’ kind of comments that women often make to their girlfriends.

On the topic of men giving gifts to women and buying them things: Many women will take what is available to them (even if they have to do a little manipulation for it), but they will ultimately resent and disrespect a man who gives too much to them.

As a matter of fact, to most hot women, THEIR REALITY is that men kiss up to them and give them what they ask for or demand (worst case, they have to get upset or act bitchy to get their way). AGAIN, THIS IS THEIR REALITY. Men who don’t fit this mold are often just tuned out as if they didn’t exist in order to keep this reality as pure as possible for them.

(Also, I think that many women harbor contempt for their beauty. At a shadow level, they are kept from living a real life and being closer to the real world simply because fewer and fewer people can relate to them in proportion to how ‘beautiful’ they are and make themselves. Addressing this topic when speaking to women is VERY powerful. More later.)

Men are often behaving like ass kissers because they are afraid that a woman might get upset and leave. The fact is that by acting this way, a woman is MORE likely to leave. It’s one of those paradoxes that’s a self-fulfilling prophesy. If a woman whines, a man might begin to think, “Oh, no... I need to kiss her ass or she might leave. Even though she’s being ridiculous, I have to go along with it...”

This is bad for her, for you, and for the relationship between you. Learn to never let a woman act like a Bratwithout you calling her on it (AND IN A COOL, ALMOST

INDIFFERENT WAY!)

This is very counter-intuitive, but again, we’re dealing with female human behaviour, which has roots and drives that are complex and often difficult to trace.

The solution is to NOT kiss ass or do things for them like everyone else. Be different. Expect them to pull their own weight, call them on all of their issues and messed-up behaviours just like you would a guy friend or family member (Use the same “you’re my friend and I’m saying this for your benefit” tone that you’d use with a friend), tease and make fun of their insecurities in a playful way, reframe other men who kiss their ass, and put beauty in a new light (as a curse, etc., how she can never have anyone see her for who she truly is, how every man she knows would sleep with her in a minute, and how it often leads to less inner fulfillment).

The fact is that women will sleep with rich men who kiss their asses and model-handsome guys who don’t treat them well to satisfy their PHYSICAL drives.

But overall, an average looking man who takes good care of himself and makes enough money to live comfortably who is cocky, direct, challenging, confident, funny, and in control - one who challenges her constantly and never kisses her ass EVER - will be FAR more fulfilling to a beautiful woman than the other types.

This difference is not only interesting to her, but it’s also challenging as well (something she doesn’t experience often). A man who does such will not only be able to win her body, but also her interest and fascination. It will also keep her messed up behaviours more in check while allowing you to stay more in control of the situation.

***Note: If any of this stuff sounds too far out for you, I recommend that you go out to a mall and find yourself a few really beautiful women. Then ask them to read the last few pages of this book and to tell you the accuracy of this material. If you’re a doubter, you won’t believe the responses you’ll get. I’ve asked many beautiful women about these ideas and almost EVERY ONE OF THEM has told me that this line of thinking is accurate.

You’ll also notice out in the real world that some fortunate men have the looks, fame, personality, or whatever that causes women to act naturally open and receptive to them.

If you’re one of these men, then congrats to you!

If you’re not one of these men (I’m not, so I understand what it’s like) then you have to LEARN how to get inside of a woman’s mind and heart and CAUSE her to start acting this way toward you. It may take a few minutes of conversation, or even up to an hour or so... but if you learn the skills that I’m going to teach you, you can learn how to cause women to act this way toward you, too.

Remember, attraction has different roads that lead to it. Some are easy shortcuts, but some take a little longer, present more challenges, and require more skill. But there is a structure to the process and if you learn that structure, you will be more successful.

It All Comes Down To Your Skills

Having a problem? You need a new skill.

If you have some area of your life that isn’t working for you, you probably need a new SKILL.

I realized a few years ago that most people look at themselves and say things like, “There must be something WRONG WITH ME. I don’t know why. I just can’t do it.”

But, in fact, the problem wasn’t something ‘wrong’ with them; the problem was that they needed to learn a new skill or a set of skills.

Meeting women comes down to SKILLS. If you’re having a problem in a particular area, get new skills to deal with it. For instance, if you have learned to meet women and get phone numbers, you might start having them flake out on you and not show up for planned meetings. Solution: A new skill. You need to learn the skill of getting women to meet you after making plans.

There are many parts to being successful with women, and they all work together. You may already know some of them, you might learn a few more from this book, but if you’re missing a key (like how and when to kiss a woman, for instance) you’ll still keep running into challenges.

Remember, if you’re having a challenge, you need a skill. So remind yourself of this idea, come back to this book to get the information, and then practice until you have the SKILL!

I began by creating self-image exercises based on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Timeline Therapy, and doing them all the time. (Read “Frogs Into Princes” by Richard Bandler and John Grinder and “The Secret of Creating Your Future” by Tad James for more info.)

Here’s one exercise that’s helped me tremendously:

First, I close my eyes and imagine a picture of the person that I want to become. I imagine how I’ll be dressed, the expression on my face, how I’m standing... all the details. Then, I throw that picture up into the air and have it start raining copies of it all around me for as far as I can see... into my past and future... all around me. Exercises like these sometimes sound silly, but they help direct your mind towards the person that you want to become.

One area that I’ve studies extensively is what’s commonly called ‘internal dialogue’ or ‘self-talk’. This is simply the way that you talk to yourself inside your head.

Most people are talking to themselves all day long. But most people are talking NEGATIVELY to themselves instead of talking POSITIVELY. Negative self-talk is, in my opinion, one of the primary causes of low self-esteem, giving up, and a lack of interest in even trying.

If you tell yourself something enough times, you’ll begin to BELIEVE it. This new belief will take on a mind of its own and start creating its own self-talk.

Most people who have negative beliefs also have negative self-talk that creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. If this is you, STOP RIGHT NOW.

I may be the first person that’s ever pointed this out to you, so it might sound a little strange. Or, I might be reminding you of something you already know. In any event, make a commitment to yourself to start talking positively to yourself and to be encouraging from now on. Put it on your calendar. Send yourself e-mails. Do whatever you have to do so you remember to be nice to yourself when you talk to yourself.

If you’re one of those people that likes being negative, arguing with everything, finding why things can never work for you, and why everyone is wrong, then do me and yourself a favor and delete this book from your hard drive and e-mail me to ask for a refund. You’ve made a choice to be negative with yourself, and I’m not even interested in helping you see a better way. People who have made the choice to be negative about everything are usually playing out a drama that’s beyond what I’m interested in addressing and probably beyond the power of this book to change.

If, on the other hand, you are one of the people who is willing to give new things a try and agree to begin saying things like, “I can do something if I choose to” and “I can change if I really want to”, then I think you will be successful.

The key here is to begin taking a positive mindset and talking to yourself in a positive way.

Here’s an exercise for you to do: Take out a piece of paper and  write down all the negative thoughts you have about yourself, all the negative things you say to

yourself, and all the areas where a ‘positive’ outlook would help you. Then, start writing down positive things you can say to yourself instead and begin saying them.

Keep working on this exercise until you stop saying negative things to yourself. This could take you years like it did for me. But it’s worth it, so trust me. This one process will improve all areas of your life, so use it everywhere.

It’s also important to make mental pictures and rehearse the success that you’d like to have. As you’re going to sleep, create mental movies of yourself being successful in different kinds of situations and with different types of women. Mental rehearsal is the next best thing to actually doing something, so do it as often as you can.

If you make a mental movie of the ideal you doing the things that I’m going to teach you and review in your mind every day, you will see improvement and results. If you don’t do this part, you’ll be wondering why you can’t seem to get it right when the opportunity comes along.

Self-Image, Self-Talk, And Other Self Stuff

The way I see it, underpinning all of these outer details and techniques is your self-image, confidence, personality, and all of that other intangible stuff that takes a bit to get under control. So let me address how I got my personal self-image stuff together before I talk about what I do specifically. (By the way, this is the most important part of this book. All of my success has flowed from my attitude and confidence – not the other way around. So if you read nothing else, read this part.)

The Attitude

When I first started out learning how to meet women, I remember that I had a feeling inside like, “I’m afraid to just walk up to a strange woman and start talking.”

I thought of all kinds of things that could go wrong.

“What if she has a boyfriend nearby who easily gets jealous and  wants to beat me up?”

“What if she says something that puts me down and makes me feel bad?”

“What if she says something to someone else about me being a loser because I tried to talk to her?”

All of these different ideas combined inside of me to give me a general fear of meeting women.

I’ve since learned that none of my worst fears would come true when meeting a new woman. I’ve met hundreds and hundreds of women over the last few years – and none (NONE!) have reacted or caused anything to happen that I couldn’t handle in the moment.

In the process I realized something very important:

No tactic works on every woman. Some women are not interested in meeting someone right now.

Some women are lesbians and have no interest in men.

Some women are happily married or in a relationship and don’t want to meet someone new right now.

Some women are angry.

Some are cold.

My guess is that in a random group of 100 women, only about 30 of them might be open to meeting someone new right now (in a romantic sense).

What this means is that 70 AREN’T interested in meeting someone new.

And of the 30 who are interested in meeting someone new, maybe only 15 are nice, friendly, happy people. Do you see where I’m going?

If you want to be successful at meeting women, you have to understand that many of the women you talk to aren’t interested. Most people take things like this PERSONALLY. Instead of just moving on to the next woman, they get all uptight and feel bad about it. I’ve now learned a better way.

I also learned something else that helped me dramatically.

I learned that women are used to being approached, flirted with, and picked up on in general by men. Even women who are what you might call ‘average’ are approached by men on a pretty regular basis. So when you’re about to approach a woman, keep in mind that it’s not like you’re going to try something that she’s never heard of before and shock her. You may not be totally comfortable yet just walking up to any woman, but she’ll be relatively OK with it.

And remember, if she’s not interested, it’s most likely that she’s not interested in anyone right now. Of course it’s true that she might not be interested in your ‘type’ or

you may have acted in a way that she didn’t like, but the fact is that no matter what happens, you’ll find that it’s no big deal.

Just move on.

When I first started my journey, I realized that some of the greatest memories that my friends and I have are when something bad happened to one of us. Looking back, we usually laugh about these things and make fun of each other and ourselves.

So I thought about it, and I realized that getting rejected really harshly by a woman would actually be a funny thing. I imagined my best friend and I saying, “Hey, remember that time when I walked up to that girl in the mall and said “Hi”, but she told me that she doesn’t date men who look like Pee Wee Herman? Ha ha ha ha...”

Think of it this way: If you get shut down really hard, just tell a couple of friends. They may not let you live it down, but at least you can laugh about it! (And if you have friends that won’t help you laugh about it, then you need some new ones.)

Another part of the attitude equation that I realized is that different women respond to different looks, personalities, etc. One woman might only like men who dress in suits and ties, while another might only like women who dress like bad boy rockers. Whatever style you develop, DON’T CHANGE IT JUST BECAUSE SOME

WOMEN DON’T LIKE IT.

The price of big success is having some people dislike you. So once you find a style that works for you, stick with it, and only change it because YOU choose to do so!