The Underlying Motives

I think that it’s important to look at the differences between men and women from an objective perspective.

Remember that just about every thought and behaviour that a woman has, no matter how little sense it may make to you, has some positive intention behind it. Drama is often to get attention. Jealousy is often a way of protecting a relationship. Games are often used to make sure that a man is serious and willing to invest energy.

So as you work to become more successful with women, remember not to take things personally. Don’t get discouraged if you encounter games, drama, and things that you don’t understand. It’s all part of the game.

I believe that underneath it all, men are usually trying to find women who will give them sex, and women are usually trying to find men who will give them loyalty and commitment. This has evolved over many millions of years, and these goals contain an obvious conflict of interest.

So just realize this conflict exists, and as you learn, remember to take it into consideration. And, of course, don’t take any of it personally. Men have been dealing with all of these same issues for a long, long time.

Be Different In An Attractive Way

By studying marketing and sales, I’ve learned that humans are attracted to things that are unique. They are also attracted to things that are superior. So I have a phrase that I use: “Different in a preferential way.” In the mating game, it pays to be different in an ATTRACTIVE way.

What I’m about to share with you is a group of ingredients. These are the different ingredients to which women are attracted. It’s up to you to take what you have and to use this list to augment your personality in such a way that it becomes attractive to the type of women with whom you’re interested. The key is to be different in an attractive way.

But make sure that you’re not too different! If you get too carried away with this idea, you’ll be outside of the realm of ‘normal’ and you will wind up hurting yourself. So experiment and test to see what works for you.

It’s A Game To Them

Women often view men picking up on them as a sort of game. They talk about it with each other, they have standard lines that they learn when you ask for their number such as, “Why don’t you give me YOUR number instead and I can call you...?” and so on.

I know that some, maybe even most women go out on weekends with the mindset of “I’m never going to meet Mr. Right at a club, but it boosts my ego to have men paying attention to me by the dozens, and I like to have free drinks... and I love to dance with my girlfriends and be a tease... and I love the power of shooting men down while pretending to be annoyed by it... etc.”

The Dark Side Of Beauty

Underneath all of the beauty, most of these powerful women have a ‘shadow’ or dark side.

This dark side is secretly wanting a man who is in control of himself, his reality, and them.

But they’d never admit it – often not even to themselves.  But their unconscious knows and recognizes this desire as something that they want. They also hold a kind of inner CONTEMPT for the weak people (especially men) who give them everything they want, as is evidenced by the “Oh, he’s just a guy I use to buy me things and “He’s my ‘Boytoy’ kind of comments that women often make to their girlfriends.

On the topic of men giving gifts to women and buying them things: Many women will take what is available to them (even if they have to do a little manipulation for it), but they will ultimately resent and disrespect a man who gives too much to them.

As a matter of fact, to most hot women, THEIR REALITY is that men kiss up to them and give them what they ask for or demand (worst case, they have to get upset or act bitchy to get their way). AGAIN, THIS IS THEIR REALITY. Men who don’t fit this mold are often just tuned out as if they didn’t exist in order to keep this reality as pure as possible for them.

(Also, I think that many women harbor contempt for their beauty. At a shadow level, they are kept from living a real life and being closer to the real world simply because fewer and fewer people can relate to them in proportion to how ‘beautiful’ they are and make themselves. Addressing this topic when speaking to women is VERY powerful. More later.)

Men are often behaving like ass kissers because they are afraid that a woman might get upset and leave. The fact is that by acting this way, a woman is MORE likely to leave. It’s one of those paradoxes that’s a self-fulfilling prophesy. If a woman whines, a man might begin to think, “Oh, no... I need to kiss her ass or she might leave. Even though she’s being ridiculous, I have to go along with it...”

This is bad for her, for you, and for the relationship between you. Learn to never let a woman act like a Bratwithout you calling her on it (AND IN A COOL, ALMOST

INDIFFERENT WAY!)

This is very counter-intuitive, but again, we’re dealing with female human behaviour, which has roots and drives that are complex and often difficult to trace.

The solution is to NOT kiss ass or do things for them like everyone else. Be different. Expect them to pull their own weight, call them on all of their issues and messed-up behaviours just like you would a guy friend or family member (Use the same “you’re my friend and I’m saying this for your benefit” tone that you’d use with a friend), tease and make fun of their insecurities in a playful way, reframe other men who kiss their ass, and put beauty in a new light (as a curse, etc., how she can never have anyone see her for who she truly is, how every man she knows would sleep with her in a minute, and how it often leads to less inner fulfillment).

The fact is that women will sleep with rich men who kiss their asses and model-handsome guys who don’t treat them well to satisfy their PHYSICAL drives.

But overall, an average looking man who takes good care of himself and makes enough money to live comfortably who is cocky, direct, challenging, confident, funny, and in control - one who challenges her constantly and never kisses her ass EVER - will be FAR more fulfilling to a beautiful woman than the other types.

This difference is not only interesting to her, but it’s also challenging as well (something she doesn’t experience often). A man who does such will not only be able to win her body, but also her interest and fascination. It will also keep her messed up behaviours more in check while allowing you to stay more in control of the situation.

***Note: If any of this stuff sounds too far out for you, I recommend that you go out to a mall and find yourself a few really beautiful women. Then ask them to read the last few pages of this book and to tell you the accuracy of this material. If you’re a doubter, you won’t believe the responses you’ll get. I’ve asked many beautiful women about these ideas and almost EVERY ONE OF THEM has told me that this line of thinking is accurate.

You’ll also notice out in the real world that some fortunate men have the looks, fame, personality, or whatever that causes women to act naturally open and receptive to them.

If you’re one of these men, then congrats to you!

If you’re not one of these men (I’m not, so I understand what it’s like) then you have to LEARN how to get inside of a woman’s mind and heart and CAUSE her to start acting this way toward you. It may take a few minutes of conversation, or even up to an hour or so... but if you learn the skills that I’m going to teach you, you can learn how to cause women to act this way toward you, too.

Remember, attraction has different roads that lead to it. Some are easy shortcuts, but some take a little longer, present more challenges, and require more skill. But there is a structure to the process and if you learn that structure, you will be more successful.

It All Comes Down To Your Skills

Having a problem? You need a new skill.

If you have some area of your life that isn’t working for you, you probably need a new SKILL.

I realized a few years ago that most people look at themselves and say things like, “There must be something WRONG WITH ME. I don’t know why. I just can’t do it.”

But, in fact, the problem wasn’t something ‘wrong’ with them; the problem was that they needed to learn a new skill or a set of skills.

Meeting women comes down to SKILLS. If you’re having a problem in a particular area, get new skills to deal with it. For instance, if you have learned to meet women and get phone numbers, you might start having them flake out on you and not show up for planned meetings. Solution: A new skill. You need to learn the skill of getting women to meet you after making plans.

There are many parts to being successful with women, and they all work together. You may already know some of them, you might learn a few more from this book, but if you’re missing a key (like how and when to kiss a woman, for instance) you’ll still keep running into challenges.

Remember, if you’re having a challenge, you need a skill. So remind yourself of this idea, come back to this book to get the information, and then practice until you have the SKILL!

I began by creating self-image exercises based on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Timeline Therapy, and doing them all the time. (Read “Frogs Into Princes” by Richard Bandler and John Grinder and “The Secret of Creating Your Future” by Tad James for more info.)

Here’s one exercise that’s helped me tremendously:

First, I close my eyes and imagine a picture of the person that I want to become. I imagine how I’ll be dressed, the expression on my face, how I’m standing... all the details. Then, I throw that picture up into the air and have it start raining copies of it all around me for as far as I can see... into my past and future... all around me. Exercises like these sometimes sound silly, but they help direct your mind towards the person that you want to become.

One area that I’ve studies extensively is what’s commonly called ‘internal dialogue’ or ‘self-talk’. This is simply the way that you talk to yourself inside your head.

Most people are talking to themselves all day long. But most people are talking NEGATIVELY to themselves instead of talking POSITIVELY. Negative self-talk is, in my opinion, one of the primary causes of low self-esteem, giving up, and a lack of interest in even trying.

If you tell yourself something enough times, you’ll begin to BELIEVE it. This new belief will take on a mind of its own and start creating its own self-talk.

Most people who have negative beliefs also have negative self-talk that creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. If this is you, STOP RIGHT NOW.

I may be the first person that’s ever pointed this out to you, so it might sound a little strange. Or, I might be reminding you of something you already know. In any event, make a commitment to yourself to start talking positively to yourself and to be encouraging from now on. Put it on your calendar. Send yourself e-mails. Do whatever you have to do so you remember to be nice to yourself when you talk to yourself.

If you’re one of those people that likes being negative, arguing with everything, finding why things can never work for you, and why everyone is wrong, then do me and yourself a favor and delete this book from your hard drive and e-mail me to ask for a refund. You’ve made a choice to be negative with yourself, and I’m not even interested in helping you see a better way. People who have made the choice to be negative about everything are usually playing out a drama that’s beyond what I’m interested in addressing and probably beyond the power of this book to change.

If, on the other hand, you are one of the people who is willing to give new things a try and agree to begin saying things like, “I can do something if I choose to” and “I can change if I really want to”, then I think you will be successful.

The key here is to begin taking a positive mindset and talking to yourself in a positive way.

Here’s an exercise for you to do: Take out a piece of paper and  write down all the negative thoughts you have about yourself, all the negative things you say to

yourself, and all the areas where a ‘positive’ outlook would help you. Then, start writing down positive things you can say to yourself instead and begin saying them.

Keep working on this exercise until you stop saying negative things to yourself. This could take you years like it did for me. But it’s worth it, so trust me. This one process will improve all areas of your life, so use it everywhere.

It’s also important to make mental pictures and rehearse the success that you’d like to have. As you’re going to sleep, create mental movies of yourself being successful in different kinds of situations and with different types of women. Mental rehearsal is the next best thing to actually doing something, so do it as often as you can.

If you make a mental movie of the ideal you doing the things that I’m going to teach you and review in your mind every day, you will see improvement and results. If you don’t do this part, you’ll be wondering why you can’t seem to get it right when the opportunity comes along.

Women Don’t Make Sense

I’m going to start off this whole shebang by giving you my take on women in general.

I know, I know. Every woman is a unique creature. But women have more commonalties than they have differences. So let’s start with what I think they have in

common and then we’ll move on to how they differ. (The ideas that I’m about to share with you here are from my own research, testing in the real world, and personal analysis).

For most men, a woman is like a Chinese puzzle inside of a brain twister.

Much of their behaviour makes no sense at all (to men).

If there’s one thing that I’m clear about, it’s that most women THINK differently than most men, and most women want different things than most men.

This is hard for many men to grasp or understand, but it’s true. And the sooner you get a handle on what’s going on here, the sooner you’ll become more successful with women.

Let’s start by comparing what men and women are interested in. Have you ever stopped to think about what entertains women as a group compared to what entertains men as a group? Women buy Cosmopolitan magazines, watch soap operas, and read romance novels. Men buy Playboy, watch sports, and read the paper.

Hey, wait a minute here! What’s in those Cosmos, soaps, and romance novels? And why are women so attracted to them? And why is it that when men try to watch a soap

opera or read a romance novel all they can say is, “I don’t get it...”?

I’ll tell you why. It’s because women’s brains are wired differently from men’s brains. That’s why. And by telling you about what attracts women’s attention, I’ve also given you a clue about how to attract them to YOU.