Your Enemies Are Insecurity and Neediness

Insecurity and neediness are two of the biggest obstacles to success with women. Insecurity and neediness are like hemlock and arsenic – either will kill your attractiveness when dealing with women.

A man is needy when he craves attention or recognition. He shows that he’s insecure when he ACTS on these needs.

Insecurity shows up when a man does not feel comfortable with who he is or comfortable in a given situation. He acts tentative, weak, and unsure. He tries to put on a show of confidence which is obviously fake. He says things that are out of place in an attempt to get approval.

Women detect insecurity and neediness INSTANTLY.

Here are some examples of insecurity and neediness to avoid:

Hanging on a woman. Don’t touch a woman or crowd her too much in the beginning. Women take it as a sign of neediness and insecurity. Instead, lean back and let her become comfortable being around you. Talking or saying negative things about women or past girlfriends. If you talk too much about past girlfriends or other women, or say negative things about them, a woman will judge you to be insecure. Having emotional responses to things. If it’s obvious to a woman that you easily get upset about things, then she will judge you to be insecure. Looking to others to make decisions. Women like it when you decide what’s going to happen and then do it. If you are always asking, “Well, what do you think I should do?”, “Where do you want to go tonight?”, and “What do you want?”, you’ll come off as needy. Just make decisions and go with it. If she has a different idea, she’ll let you know. Saying or doing things just to be noticed or to get compliments. I’ve known a lot of men who try to act cool or show off to get attention. This approach telegraphs to a woman that you’re insecure and needy. Don’t do it. If you’re cool, she’ll figure it out without you telling her. Arguing. This is my favorite. Some people feel like they need to argue with EVERYTHING. If you’re one of these people, just realize that this is a clear demonstration that you’re insecure and needy. You may always be right, but being overly argumentative is bad for your sex life. Deal with it. If you really want to argue with something, do it in a funny way and not in a serious way.

What Outcome Are You Looking For?

Most men that I talk to about this topic really can’t explain the EXACT outcome that they’re looking for.

So let me ask you...

Are you looking for a one night stand?

Are you looking for a girlfriend?

Are you looking for a wife?

Are you looking to get this part of my life called ‘confidence with women’ handled?

What is it that you’d like to do?

Once you choose an outcome for yourself, you can apply what you’re learning to that outcome. If you have no outcome, then you’re going to be like a ship in the ocean with no particular port as your destination. With no target, there is a very small chance that you’ll ever be successful.

Take a moment and write down your goal as it relates to women. Then think about that goal as you read the rest of this book.

The idea here is to give yourself a framework to work within and one to plan around. Failing to plan is planning to fail.

Voice Tone

Voice tone is VERY important.

If you want to be more successful with women, work on developing a deep, resonant, musical, articulate voice tone.

And I don’t care if you have the whiniest, highest pitched voice anyone’s ever heard.

You can improve it if you try.

First of all, practice talking slower and deeper.

You should be able to feel your voice resonating in your chest when you talk.

Keep practicing until you can.

I highly recommend that you go out and buy the audio series “The Sound Of Your Voice” by Carol Flemming.

Also, get on eBay or Amazon.com and look for some voice training tapes.

They’re well worth the investment and practice. Women find a sexy voice irresistible. This is a big one, so get to work on it.

Fear

If you need to get ‘fear’ handled, read the book, “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers. This is an AWESOME book on getting fear handled.

On Persistence:

A common theme I hear:

“NO

No

No

No

No

NO

NOOO

Noooo

Make love to me right now!”

Persistence is key. Never give up… if a woman says, “We’re not going to have sex tonight”, I immediately think to myself, “Ohhh, she just let me know that she’s feeling some temptation and wants to get the responsibility off herself… this is going to be fun and easy.”

Trust me on this one.

Their words are usually hollow and meaningless… watch their BEHAVIOUR…

***Now, DON’T take this to mean that if a woman says, “STOP” when you’re touching her that she wants you to rape her… this kind of dumb-ass thinking will result in jail time and your getting a large new boyfriend named Otis.***

Just realize that a “No” said with longing in her eyes or passion in her kiss usually means, “Get me more turned on by kissing my neck, caressing me, smelling me,  and saying romantic and sexy things.”

I’ve realized that women shift gears all the time and next time you talk to her she might be in a completely different mood, etc. so if you really want her, don’t give up the first time something weird happens.

It’s A Game To Them

Women often view men picking up on them as a sort of game. They talk about it with each other, they have standard lines that they learn when you ask for their number such as, “Why don’t you give me YOUR number instead and I can call you...?” and so on.

I know that some, maybe even most women go out on weekends with the mindset of “I’m never going to meet Mr. Right at a club, but it boosts my ego to have men paying attention to me by the dozens, and I like to have free drinks... and I love to dance with my girlfriends and be a tease... and I love the power of shooting men down while pretending to be annoyed by it... etc.”