After spending the last ten years or so studying psychology and behaviour, I’ve come to the opinion that MOST of our desires, drives, preferences, strengths, weaknesses, behaviours, and personality traits are determined by our DNA and some by our social
conditioning. I’m talking about both men and women here.
Even differences like whether a person prefers adventure or couch riding are largely a matter of programming from birth (If you really disagree with me on this one, read some books on the Myers-Briggs or try the book “Type Who Am I?” by Steven Reiss.)
In any event, HOWEVER they got to be interested in these common things, most women have a few main interests, needs, desires, or whatever you want to call them when it comes to men, relationships, and romance.
Have you ever read the personals? Have you ever noticed how many women say things like “princess looking for prince”, “friends first”, and “looking for my soul mate”?
Have you ever noticed how almost NO men ever say these things?
What’s going on?
Have you ever listened to a group of women talking about men?
Ever notice how they speak largely in some kind of code language and constantly make a big deal out of tiny details that seem totally irrelevant?
Have you ever noticed, on the other hand, how men are direct with each other and have no interest in bickering over small things?
What’s going on?
Have you ever noticed how many women are attracted to drama?
Here’s my take on this whole subject: Women are playing out a role that hasn’t changed for thousands (or millions?) of years. These days the language and clothing are different. But it’s the same that it’s always been.
There are many parts of human brains that create drives and desires for different things. Often, these drives conflict with each other.
For instance, a woman might want a strong man in her life, but she might also want a feeling of independence. She might want to have attention, but she might also want to be seen as above needing it. (Men have these types of conflicts as well, but in different areas.)
So, for example, I hear a lot of men saying things like, “I hate all the drama that women create. Why do they create this stuff?”
My answer: Drama accomplishes a lot of things at once. It gets attention, it sends emotions through the body (emotions are highly addictive chemicals), it’s a way
to be self-righteous, it’s often fun, it’s interesting and prevents boredom, it gives things meaning... and on and on. There are a lot of good reasons for drama. But most men can’t understand because drama fulfils needs that MOST MEN DON’T HAVE.
It’s like women saying, “I hate it when all a guy can talk about is sports.” What needs to sports fulfil for men? Competition, adrenaline, power, domination... all the typical guy stuff. Incidentally, stuff that fulfils needs that most women just plain don’t have.