Being a single parent is hard enough without dating, but when you decide the time is right to start dating again you need to be prepared for spreading your time between your family life and your personal life. This may feel like an impossible task, but it can be a lot easier once your children are aware of your intentions, but this doesn't mean telling them every detail. Your aim is to make your transition back into dating as smooth and relaxing as possible, allowing you to enjoy the dating experience once again.
Firstly the most important thing you have to do is talk to your children. Tell them that you are planning to meet new people. You don't need to go into details about these new people being your date, simply call them your friends or work friends. Don't expect a happy reaction or much of a reaction at that; sometimes children, often depending on age, don't fully understand what you are saying. It is common to receive a negative response about this news. Your children will have had your attention to themselves for so long and don't welcome the thought of having to share your time and affections with others. This is the time to offer them reassurance and give them time to adjust to the idea of you dating.
When you first start dating again, it is important that you don't spend your whole time talking about your children. You might find this hard, as your children are a huge part of your life, but your date will want to get to know who you are before they get to know your children. This doesn't mean that you can't mention them; simply keep conversation about you children to a minimal.
It is your choice when you feel the time is right to introduce your date to your children. You must be aware that forcing your date to like your children and vice versa can have a negative impact. You must let a bond form naturally between them, otherwise bitter feelings could form. Keep introductions between them short at first and gradually lengthen the time your date spends with you and your children.
Throughout your dating experiences it is vital that you understand how your children are feeling. It will be necessary to keep reassuring them that you aren't going anywhere and you will always be there for them, but don't let them stop you dating. It may be hard, and at times you will need to put yourself first, but there will also be times when you will have to put your children first. If your date doesn't accept the fact that your children are a priority in your life, then this is a good sign that a relationship simply wouldn't work. It is all about finding a happy balance between dating and your family life; but don't loose sight on the fact that you are dating again for yourself and you deserve to be happy.