Finally, I’m going to address the idea of your ‘states’. By ‘state’ I mean the feeling that you have in your body.
Can you remember a time when you felt happy and excited?
Can you remember a time when you felt powerful and energetic?
If you can, then you can HAVE THESE FEELINGS ANY TIME YOU WANT THEM. Most people don’t use their memories to help them feel good because they say, “Well, that’s not really how I’m feeling; I’m just imagining it.” Well, I have news for you: You’re ALWAYS just imagining it. You might as well imagine it at times when you need it instead of having it happen on accident!
Here’s how to apply this idea:
Write down three states that you’d like to be able to put yourself into anytime you’d like. Then, write down three times in your life when you felt each of those states. Finally, close your eyes and put yourself into each of the three situations that made you feel the state that you want. Also, do SOMETHING UNIQUE with your body as you’re remembering. For instance, if you’d like to feel powerful and confident, while you’re remembering times when you felt this way, breathe out quickly while
puckering your lips.
If you do this process of remembering the states and exhaling quickly at the same time, all you have to do in the future is close your eyes, breathe out quickly while remembering the feelings, and you’ll have the states that you want. It’s like having a ‘push’ button for feeling good about yourself.
Next, you have to practice putting yourself into your three powerful states when you’re in different environments. So go to different places and practice getting yourself into your states with distractions, etc. This might take some doing, but once you have it
mastered, you’ll be able to get yourself into a positive state when you’re not feeling it to begin with (Could this exercise be useful when you’re feeling shy or afraid to
meet someone? Maybe!)
I also started keeping a personal journal of everything that I was learning and doing, so I could reflect on it.