Woman Finds a Husband Using a Blog

www.citizen-times.com
She is a 26-year-old single mother of one who longs to be a writer.

She also longs for something else. A husband.

The headline on her blog read: "Husband Wanted: It takes a village to raise a child ... and a city to find a husband."

The blog began on Aug. 9 with a photo of this attractive and articulate woman with these opening words: "It's true ... I'm definitely in the market for a man."

Not just any man. She's been on her own and has learned to carry out her trash, assemble items with power tools and haul her own groceries up the stairs. She's been alone for a while and wants someone to share her life with forever, not just the casual dates she calls "fillers."

"Though I was terrified of it at the beginning, this independence has come to define me," she wrote. "It has forced me to examine what relationships are really about and what I truly seek. I know now that if I am with someone, it will be out of choice and not need."

"I felt like I didn't have much to lose," she said, her toddler playing in the background. "One night I was standing at the stove cooking a huge meal and sulking that I didn't have enough people to feed. I wanted to share the meal."

So she started the blog, www.ahusbandwanted.blogspot.com.

She lamented that over the years, the more she grew and became self-sufficient, the less men came calling. Independence and confidence seemed to scare them away.

"It has put more space between matrimony and myself," she wrote. "I didn't have an issue getting a guy when I was a whiny, needy, insecure little girl full of problems."

In her blog, Ainsworth lists what she wants in a husband. Oddly, she never mentions looks, income or the usual superficial characteristics one sees on the popular online dating sites, which she's tried in the past.

"I want someone who isn't afraid to tell the truth, even if it makes me cry. I want someone who isn't afraid to drop everything and go anywhere. I want someone who isn't afraid to sneak in the back door at a party we weren't invited to."

So far she's received a fair amount of e-mails but no offers, just suggestions, many from women who say it's impossible to find a man in this town. Others from guys telling her to relax and just enjoy sexual encounters.

"I just want something real and a commitment," she told me. "Something stable and predictable and to build off on."

She admits the blog is opening "a huge can of worms," and she's learning the trend in this town is casual relationships.

"Have fun has been the continual theme," she said. "Or enjoy it while it lasts."

This isn't what she wants. Come on Asheville. Let's find this woman a husband.

I try to update her search in a future columns.



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Photo Retouching for Online Dating

There was a time when snapshots were something to stuff in an album and place on a shelf, to be pulled out occasionally when dear friends wanted to chuckle over your Farrah Fawcett hair and your micro-miniskirt from back in the day.

But, now, thanks to online picture-sharing and social-networking sites, friends aren't the only ones looking. Co-workers, former classmates, long-lost acquaintances and even creepy guys you've never met can flip through your favorite snaps at their leisure.

And what they're seeing isn't always reality.

Photo-retouching services are helping customers put their best face -- minus the crow's feet, double chin and blotchy skin -- online. Internet services such as PicWash.com, Fotofix.com and Retouchxp.com can give you a digital facelift and tummy tuck, zap away blemishes, and even out your tan.

For $7, PicWash will reduce facial shine, remove acne, erase wrinkles and whiten your teeth. For $15, the company's new slimming service, launched this month, will put your image on a digital diet, whittling your waist, stomach and thighs, erasing cellulite and toning the arms -- all without breaking a sweat.

The demand has been dramatic, driven largely by the growing popularity of sites such as Flickr, Photobucket, Facebook, MySpace and online dating services.

Fotofix, a 2-year-old company in Santa Barbara, Calif., and Austin, Texas, gets thousands of page hits a day, said Jessica Mitchell, the company's founder and chief operating officer. Fotofix advertises its services on social-networking and online-dating sites.

"The knowledge of retouching is really coming about on a consumer level now," she said. "I got my start retouching for fashion photographers, and, of course, the charge for that is 10 times what we charge on Fotofix. At these prices ($4.95 for such things as teeth whitening or skin smoothing), it really puts it within a consumer's reach."

"Photos are shared now more than ever before," said Daniel Ciraldo, 24, the founder of the Florida-based PicWash. "One photo of yourself can be online for eternity. People are more and more interested in optimizing their appearance; what we do is provide a beauty service for your photos."

PicWash's slimming service takes off about 10 to 15 pounds. The company's promotional flier features an attractive woman in a tankini swimsuit. She doesn't have a model's body in either the "before" or "after" shots. The overall effect is a trimmer figure but without a dramatically noticeable change.

It's like one of those hidden-pictures pages from Highlights magazine for children. Can you spot the toned arms and the flatter tummy?

"One thing you probably don't immediately notice is that we also brought the breasts higher and closer to the body," he said.

About 60 percent of PicWash's customers are women ages 18 to 26, Ciraldo said.

Although online services are leading the charge, local photo retailers also are in on the action. Lakeside Camera Photoworks, which has locations in Metairie and Mandeville, offers retouching, but clients request the improvements primarily for professional portraits, not vacation snapshots or Internet posts.

"Most of the time, it's publicity and business photos for actresses or actors or real estate agents," said David Guidry, owner of Lakeside Camera. "It's become an integral part of our portrait studio work."

Not all of the retouching is vanity-driven. A considerable part of Lakeside's retouching work comes from requests to add in grandma or crop out an ex from family photos, Guidry said. And Mitchell, of Fotofix, said some customers turn to her service for diet motivation.

"We had one woman who said, 'Make me 20 pounds slimmer, and I'm going to put it up on my fridge so I can see it everyday.' "

Such altering of reality isn't new. Magazines are filled with unreal beauties. In the March issue of Vogue, for example, Pascal Dangin, a sought-after New York photo retoucher, tweaked 144 images, including "107 advertisements (Estée Lauder, Gucci, Dior, etc.), 36 fashion pictures, and the cover, featuring Drew Barrymore," according to a May 12 story about Dangin in The New Yorker.

Now everyone has access to a little digital makeover magic. Fotofix's tagline is "Look your best, even if you didn't."

"Everybody knows that celebrities and models are retouched," Mitchell said. "Why shouldn't we have the same treatment?"



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Wanted: "Ugly ducklings"

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A plea for lovelorn female "ugly ducklings" to move to a remote Australian mining town to reverse a shortage of eligible women has landed the local mayor in hot water.

Mt Isa Mayor John Molony was refusing to apologize on Monday for angering local women with a suggestion that "with five blokes to every girl, may I suggest that beauty-disadvantaged women should proceed to Mount Isa," in north-west Queensland state.

"Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face. Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness," Molony told the Townsville Bulletin newspaper last week.

"Some, in other places in Australia, need to proceed to Mount Isa where happiness awaits. Really, beauty is only skin deep. Isn't there a fairy tale about an ugly duckling that evolves into a beautiful swan," Molony said.

The mayor said he was "telling it like it is" in a testosterone-laden town more famous for cowboys and mining lead, silver, copper and zinc than for match-making, sitting atop one of the world's biggest underground mines.

"I'm a bloke who respects women. I believe we should look after women. I'm told men outnumber women here by five to one. If that's the case, then perhaps it's an opportunity for some lonely women," Molony said.

Fellow council members and the local chamber of commerce said they had been swamped with phone calls from both women and men complaining about the mayor's remarks.

"It paints the women here as second rate and suggests the men will settle for anything. I think it's quite disgusting," Mt Isa domestic violence worker Shirley Slann told the Courier Mail newspaper on Monday.

Maybe next Molony will attempt to revitalize the town's tourism industry with travel discounts for the "beauty disadvantaged." I can see it now: "Plastic surgery? $12,000, minimum. Self-esteem boosting therapy? $3,000. A trip to Mount Isa? Only $500!" Or: "From ugly duckling to swan in just one flight!"


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Do's and Don'ts of Dating at Work

When it comes to dating, you know what they say about dipping your pen in company ink- don't do it!

Nowadays, it seems more and more people are doing it anyway; dating a coworker they'll have to see everyday.

So if you're attracted to the office cutie, Yahoo! gives us the do's and don'ts of dating in the workplace.

Know HR Policy

Human Resources policy when it comes to inter-office romances can be different from company to company; some allow it, others don't.

Make sure you know your company's guidelines before you start seeing that special co-worker; your job may depend on it.

Be Open About It

No one likes a liar, so you may as well be open about your relationship with a coworker. You're not fooling anyone with your 'secret' romance, because office gossip runs as rampant as high school gossip.

Let your human resources department know about the relationship, and casually give your coworkers the low down on what's happening. Don't let lies and secrecy ruin your reputation.

Avoid Romantic Emails

Save the lovey-dovey stuff for outside of work. Most company email policies state that your email is not private, so anything you say can and will be seen by others.

If you're planning on writing an 'e-love-letter' anyway, ask yourself this: “Will I be embarrassed if this email is made public?”

Keep It Professional

Remember you are at work, not on a hot date. Keep things professional around the office by avoiding pet names for your sweetie and avoiding special treatment.

Once again, remember you are at work. You have things to do; don't devote all your time to your crush.

Be the Bigger Person

If things don't work out, be the bigger person. You still have to see each other everyday; unless you're planning on a new career.

Keep things easy-breezy by taking the highroad. Don't resort to childish behavior. It will go a long way with your peers.



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