Do you use on-line dating services to meet the love of your life? Are you addicted yet? Have you crossed over that fine line where love and infatuation become lust? Has what once started out as hope and illusion turned to desperation and disillusionment in your Internet quests? How much is too much and how far is too far when it comes to the world of Internet cyber romance? Good question!
What is it about Internet dating which makes it so addictive? Can it truly be addictive? At first blush some would say, well it’s nothing but fun and games. At second wink isn’t that how addictions like gambling, drinking and drugging all started out? Hey, people get addicted to fun and games! Perhaps three things stand out which make Internet dating addictive: It’s arousing, it’s habit forming and it provides needed attention. When the need for attention and arousal becomes habit forming, you are well on your way to addiction.
Anything that is novel and new is exciting! It arouses us in ways we can only hope for. Many men begin using the Internet for meeting and dating with the best laid intentions… To meet someone special. In the end, many of these “best laid” intentions become an addictive means to an end to getting laid. You see, whenever you do something over and over you get bored, less aroused and require more stimulation. The longer you stay on-line the more likely you are going to become desensitized and eventually cross the line from loving intentions to lustful temptations.
Let’s be realistic, meeting someone on-line takes time. Most men do not possess patience. We live in a fast food competitive society of having it when I want it which is usually now. You snooze you lose. Add to the fact people post quite seductive, enticing and racy pictures and profiles of themselves on the Net and you have the ingredients for lust and temptation. By their nature, men are visual creatures. How can you not get turned on by nearly naked or naked women looking for love…or sex? Here you are trying to work women with the hopes of meeting them and it’s taking too long.
Along comes the naughty and nasty pictures of “whip bitch” divas with bodies and looks made for hedonism, and what once started out as meeting Ms. Right changes to meeting Ms. Right Now! The general male perception is that if a women is dressed provocative, acts sleazy and easy, and bares all, then she must be available for the immediate taking. Why not just take a sneak peak into Pandora’s box? A little taste won’t hurt! Well, that’s what many cocaine and crystal methane addicts said when they tried it for the first time. I am not saying Internet dating and sex are the same as a drug addiction, but I am saying curiosity opens some doors that were never meant to be open. Curiosity has killed the cat on many occasions. Safari hunters have also been slain by the pussy!
Many men get addicted to this on-line arousal. Add web cams and virtual sites and this becomes like going to a nudie bar minus the cover charge. The only difference between nudie bars and on-line dating is “reverse arousal”. How far are you willing to go to arouse the other person? Grad pictures, vacation pictures and all the other innocent pictures you posted start getting replaced with nudes and genital shots. Before you know it, you have become an Internet exhibitionist. You can start your own reality show called “lifestyles of the desperate and shameless”! Some men begin crossing lines, boundaries and solar systems of decency and integrity to get some one’s attention they’ve never met with the hopes of getting in her pants. This all happened because you got bored, impatient and aroused by a naked girl. After all the nude posing, exposing and jockeying, in the end did you get the naked bombshell? Probably not! What the heck, it was only at the cost of your morals, scruples and integrity. Cheers!
Internet dating and chatting is extremely habit forming. You know you’re addicted when you need to be on everyday, certain times of the day, your day revolves around being on- line, you miss work or social activities to be on-line, time is no longer a factor once you are on-line and you develop psychological symptoms of withdrawal if you miss a day or an “on-line” appointment. Further, add to the fact some men spend thousands of dollars to play on-line or engage in autoerotic stimulation and this becomes their primary means of arousal. This is when you know you’ve crossed the line from habit to addiction. In a habit you still have some degree of control and can choose to go on-line or not go on-line. In addiction, necessity replaces habit and choice. You have to be on-line. If you are sexually dependent on being on-line for arousal and climax, you need to be on-line to get off. It’s not surprising some men are on-line 3-4 times daily sometimes more often just to get off. When you get to this point, you are o longer really interested in meeting someone for a relationship, you are addicted to the venue just to “get off“. As a matter of fact, I have spoken with men who started out on-line with noble intentions, got hooked on the sexy women and then got hooked on masturbating while being on-line. Some men told me they would probably never even meet women even if they could get laid for real. They were more habituated and/or addicted to on-line dating as their visual and anticipatory fantasy for sexual arousal!
The attention one receives from being on-line can become exciting, overwhelming and addictive! What guy doesn’t want to chat with and perhaps meet some of the most beautiful women in the world? What guy doesn’t want to live the dream of dating 2 or more of these women at the same time? Some people believe Internet dating is just that…Dating. If you are on-line trying to meet women and date them, then you are kind of “dating” them already. Some men start to believe they are self-appointed gigolos working many women on-line at the same time. This is great for the male ego. It also allows men to feel great that they can attract a new flavor of the week, let alone flavor of the day! Some men told me that some on-line dating services have little gimmicks like being able to send cyber smiley faces or flowers to other members. These same men told me it’s like notches on the old gunslinger belt. The more of these you have the better it makes you feel. You start to feel like every woman wants you. As a matter of fact, some men actually told me the confidence they gain from the cyber world helps them succeed in the real world of dating. Addiction to on-line dating might pose a problem if you are always on-line you never have a chance to do any “real dating”!
Beware the hidden slides, snakes and snares of on-line dating. In the beginning you control it, but at some point it might start controlling you. You will know when it controls you when you have to keep reminding yourself that you are in control and that you can quit anytime you want.
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